Its raining right now, well I guess the weather is sad like me too. I don't know why I'm sad, why I'm still hurt and I just don't know. Why can't I just move on and be happy without feeling anything. God, the only thing I wish right now is just to feel nothing. Why feel when you can't just be blank ? Why happy if that happiness can be erase off just like that, why feel love when love can crush and broke your heart, Why why why !!! Being numb or emotion off is probably the best thing ever.
I don't know why but lately everything seem to play with my feeling and emotion, I never show or express my feeling like this towards people around me. Crying, offense, insecurities and just broken heart, is this a test from Allah ? If yes, I surrender cause it hurt so bad. Being sensitive god, an attitude that seem can't apart away from me. I never shed a tears so many times in my whole life, is this the worst part of my life or what ? Or there will be a lot worse in the future. I don't know which feeling I should feel anymore.
Why should I care about him ? Why should I be angry whenever he speak about someone's else ? Why should I fucking jealous ? He's not even mine, for god sake Intan, stop being desperate and pathetic, you know he will never ever be yours and you already accept the fact but why you still felt for him ? Why Intan ? Erghh if I can, I just wanna hit my head and forget everything and start new. Forget all this miserable feeling.
And those people, why being so sarcastic, why you guys just leave me alone and don't bother me like I do to you guys, please I'm not even a bit interested on your life. The way you dress, talk or behave is your own fucking business. Erghh fucked up people !!!
