Vicious, pain, brutal and just heartless, perfect word to describe my days so far. I don't know why or how it happen to me, I never realized that in one second everyone can turn into someone who so selfish and the most tragic thing is I just let them do the mean things to me. What was I thinking and why I just let them ? I still don't understand cause I know beneath me, I'm just the same mean as them.
I let my tears fall when I promised myself not to cry for those who doesn't deserve it, and instead I crush and fall, I just follow them and lead me into difficulty. I feel sorry for myself, sorry for don't even stand up and protect my heart. How selfish I am and how weak I am for not able to do all that. Sorry for my body, having this hopeless soul. I guess its true, final week before exam is the most difficult week for us.
Tired for feeling used, tired of feeling me being second choice and just another person for everyone to express their problem. I don't care if everyday they want to share their stories but can't they do the same ? Am I too kind ? cause trust me, I'm far away from kindness, I am sinner and just filthy. Weak and just weak, yeah that's me, stupid me.
What I want the most is just I wanna cry and I wanna love and be loved, I want someone who always ready to lend their shoulder just like I'm ready for them. I guess all my tears have been used up for all this bullshit. How fucked up I am right now hahahahhaa.
